


37 Reasons

by Marf_Redux



Series: Tim's Choice [6]
Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types
Genre: M/M, cold discussion of murder, discussion of previous major character death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-03
Updated: 2019-09-03
Packaged: 2020-10-06 08:17:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,390
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20503790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marf_Redux/pseuds/Marf_Redux
Summary: Dick Grayson finds out why Tim Drake made the decision to kill the joker.





	37 Reasons

**Author's Note:**

> Comments are disabled. I have my reasons for this and they are in my profile if you simply must know why. I tell you this so you will be forewarned in case you don't want to read fics that disable them.
> 
> Kudos are appreciated and thank you in advance to anyone who leaves them.

37 Reasons

“Nice place,” Tim said looking around the apartment and then back at him. “But this really doesn’t look like your style so whose safe house is this?” He wasn’t surprised that Tim had figured out that their meeting wasn’t in one of his safe houses.

“It is one of Jason’s from before he and Bruce made up,” He said after a moments thought about how that was over with now. “He doesn’t think Bruce knows about it so we shouldn’t be interrupted even if Oracle can’t keep him busy tonight while we talk.” He then thought of something, “perhaps we should check it for bugs though just to be safe.”

“I don’t plan to say anything I wouldn’t say to Bruce or Jason so it’s fine,” Tim said looking around. “That’s a massive bruise on your face, I take it you and Bruce had a disagreement.” That was an understatement the entire right side of his face was hurting. He was just fortunate not to have lost any teeth. 

“I refuse to cut you out of my life especially considering I’m the reason you did what you did,” he said thinking about the things Bruce had told him before the fight. Tim turned a disbelieving look on him, “Tim, Bruce played me the tape, I know what the other me did to him and Damian.” He did his best not to think about what he’d been said to have done or the fact his future self had bragged to Tim about it.

“Of course he did the bastard gave me his word you’d never find out about that but I’m not surprised he told you,” Tim said shaking his head. “Well you don’t have to beat yourself up Dick, I didn’t kill the Joker because of what happened to you in that future.” He was surprised by that, “After all there’s no guarantee that the joker hadn’t already created that toxin and it is sitting out there waiting to be used on you or some other poor soul.” That was a cheery thought, “And there were plenty of other ways to stop it from happening without killing the joker so you weren’t the reason.”

It was nice of Tim to try to down play it but there was no real point. If he’d seen a future where any of the others had been corrupted like that he’d have been desperate to stop it. “Tim, I know we don’t talk about it but I know how you feel about me so don’t try to deny why you did it.”

“Dick, this has nothing to do with the fact I’ve always been half in love with you,” Tim said easily surprising him. “I mean seeing you turned into that thing was hard and difficult but frankly given how much the version of my own future self that turned into a monster scarred me I wouldn’t kill the Joker just for you no matter how I feel about you.” He still didn’t really believe Tim but a bit of doubt was creeping in. “Don’t get me wrong what happened to you in that future started me thinking about it but it wasn’t why I did it.”

“Then why did you do it?” He asked truthfully if Tim hadn’t done it for him then he was honestly slightly bothered. He’d killed the Joker once for Tim and on some level it had just seemed fair that Tim had done it for him.

“There are thirty seven reasons,” Tim said after a moment. “That’s how many times Batman has saved the Joker’s life by the criteria I decided on.” He found himself staring at Tim in shock. “At first I only counted the times he literally saved the joker with his own hands but that half dozen times seemed way to few so I expanded it only then I got way too many results.” He sighed, “I mean technically every time they move the Joker and Bruce either follows along or has one of us doing it keeps the cops from shooting him while he tried to escape.” Tim sat down on the edge of the bed in the apartment. “Or how he triple checks every employee at Arkham constantly to make sure none of them have ties to anyone who wants the joker dead.”

“So what criteria did you decide on,” he asked after a moment because by the standards Tim had just said Batman had saved the joker thousands of times. He really should have swept this place for bugs if Jason or Bruce heard this they would go ballistic.

“I finally decided to only count credible threats Batman foiled like the time he intimidated the mob into calling off a hit man or the time he stopped a grieving man from avenging his children and in the end it added up to thirty seven times,” Tim said tiredly. “That made it clear why despite how many folks having good reason to see him dead no one ever succeeds because Bruce won’t let them.” That was a chilling thought.

“So then I considered who else could kill the joker and if it was worth facing my worst fear to do it,” Tim said after a moment. “Ever since that time me and the Titans traveled to that future where I was Batman I’ve been terrified of ever crossing the line.” He looked over at him then, “In the end I decided it had to be me, you could only ever do it in a rage and Jason wants to belong again too much.” He frowned, “And even if either of you ever decided it was worth it to kill him Bruce is always watching both of you, because you both already crossed that line once.” He laughed then, “Just like he watches Alfred, the commissioner and even Oracle anyone he thinks would cross the line and do it he watches.” Tim frowned then, “But he was convinced that since I didn’t avenge my own father he didn’t have to watch me as closely, he’s probably kicking himself for that and for not realizing I had information from the future about when and where the Joker would be.”

“You know when Bruce finds out all this that he’ll never forgive you for it,” He said as the realization hit him. “He’ll think it proves him right that you’d eventually do it again.” He hated to admit it but that cold rationalization did make him think Tim might.

“He’s probably right because I won’t be losing any sleep over the Joker’s death,” Tim said after a moment. “And I can think of a few others I wouldn’t lose any sleep over which is why I won’t ever be putting the costume on again.” Tim stood up then, “I’m not going along with Bruce’s demands out of guilt or to stay out of jail; I am doing it to protect myself and everyone I care about from me becoming that monster I saw in the future.” He then looked at him, “And its okay I understand that you’ll have to stop seeing me after this because you’ll have to patch things up with him to work with Bruce.”

“That isn’t fair Tim,” he said stepping forward and pulling the other man into a hug. “I don’t want to lose you, your important to me and I don’t care what Bruce says we’ll stay in touch even if you aren’t Red Robin anymore.”

“It’s nice of you to say that Dick but we both know that isn’t true,” Tim said burying his face in his chest. “How many times do you visit your civilian friends from Bludhaven these days?” It was a low blow but it was accurate which is why it hurt so much. If Tim wasn’t running around in cape they’d eventually lose touch. “I mean it’d be nice to pretend but pretending doesn’t last forever.”

That was certainly true and he felt Tim starting to pull away, “But it can last for a while.” He said and then on instinct kissed Tim. It wouldn’t fix anything but he could give Tim this one night that showed him how much he really cared. He expected Tim to pull away to argue but instead the younger man just started undoing his belt.

The End.


End file.
